12 Days of Christmas

Review: fun. - Aim and Ignite

Oh, that voice!  Nate Ruess sure has some pipes.  He had them in the Format, and he’s still got them in fun., his new band. This record hardly lives up to Dog Problems, but it doesn’t have to.  Fun. begs the question: just how poppy can it get?  At times, like in the opener “Be Calm,” fun. is making a Disney soundtrack.  A baker pokes his head out as birds fly by the town square and our young heroine sings the praises of prince charming.  Mix that with a bunch of goofy instruments (glockenspiel, accordion, I’m sure), and you’ve got Aim and Ignite.  For fans of The Format, duh.  The baker dropped his tray of buns!  Silly baker!

Leftover review from Cat Plaza #2.

Review: Cold Cave - Love Comes Close

Wes Eisold from American Nightmare/ Give up the Ghost, XO Skeletons, and Some Girls turns out his first truly remarkable release as Cold Cave. Dark, moody electronic music for fans of New Order, JAMC, and The Knife. Cold Cave was just picked up by Matador so jump on board before they get huge!

Leftover review from Cat Plaza #2

Review: The Night Brigade - Save My Soul 10"

What this 10-inch lacks in duration it makes up for in quality.  My friends from ISU really brought it this time around.  The surge at the beginning of “Airing of Grievances” makes way for a delightful midtempo part which showcases Adam Gogola’s gruff but pleasing voice.  The highlight is “Conversations with Sam Schild.”  The intro-buildup calls to mind highpoints from Saves the Day’s catalog, but the victory is purely The Night Brigade’s.  For fans of The Bouncing Souls, Anti-Flag, and Jawbreaker.

Leftover review from Cat Plaza #2.

Bad Movie Society - Fred Claus

Don't see Fred Claus. Read my review, but do not see it ever.

1. The actors lack chemistry to the point where I found myself questioning whether they had ever met each other. Did they film their scenes alone and have the editors mash them together? How would it feel to act with Vince Vaughn talking over you, rambling to discover something funny, and straying from the already too-complicated plot? I felt bad for Giamatti and Weisz, but hey, they signed on.

2. What kind of a movie is Fred Claus? It was too serious to be a children's movie, too goofy to be an adult movie, and not magical enough to qualify as a holiday film. The cast and crew jumped around from recession-era big business criticism to dancing elves to race relations. Oof. I wished they would have watched The Santa Clause to understand the importance of streamlining major holiday releases.

3. Speaking of race relations, what the hell was going on with them in Fred Claus? Fred (Vince Vaughn) is friend to the stereotypical street-wise black orphan, Slam (Bobb'e J. Thompson from Role Models), who takes Fred's advice too much to heart and becomes a jerk. In the end, everyone is redeemed, and Vaughn gets to play the open-minded hero. I don't buy it, and I don't buy that the only noticeable black elf was Ludacris, a disc jockey, and I don't buy that Fred dates a cool, beautiful British girl (Rachel Weisz, hubba hubba, best part of the movie).

4. Fred Claus made me laugh authentically, at my most generous estimate, twice. I laughed because I hated the film way more than that, but that kind of laughter also kills my soul.

5. 1 hour and 55 minutes. So long.

I hated Fred Claus, and now I kind of hate myself. Bah humbug.

Bad Movie Society - Shark Attack 3: Megalodon

The success of Shark Attack 3: Megalodon hinges on how much the audience likes enormous sharks devouring whole life rafts and sexually suggestive dialogue (although how I can call this sexually "suggestive" is beyond me). Like so many other bad films, Shark Attack 3 doesn't get good until the last 30 minutes, but boy are those minutes good. Watching wealthy investors jump into the jaws of a prehistoric shark has never been this satisfying.

Bonus points for the ill-conceived Luis (Bashar Rahal), a party-lovin', cliche-spurtin mess of a character. Very funny. Also note when the movie was made. Navy divers diving, Bush lovers thriving, and shark fans high fiving. God bless America.

Happy Thanksgiving. Next week, bad Christmas movies. Fred Claus anyone?

Cat Plaza #2

The Fall issue is out! 20 pages this time- almost twice as many pages as #1. Inside: a short story from my boy John Wilmes, a beer review from Marc Nardoni, two stories I wrote, concert reviews, opinions you didn't ask for, and more! I brought out the big guns this time around- better layout, better content, and at no additional cost to the reader. Yes, my friends, this issue still costs $1 in person or $2 by mail.

And won't you look at this? I figured out paypal! When you click this button, you will receive your order by mail. Please supply your address. Tell me if the paypal gives you trouble; I've never used it to sell before.

To submit: Panther1215@hotmail.com
Also use my e-mail if you want to give me your mailing address.