2012 in review: music

I give up. I said I'd stay on top of new album releases, but I can't. Uncle! 

Cliche #325: "There's too much new music nowadays."
I can't say I disagree. After one month of this cockamamie experiment, I've heard enough crap to tide me over for all of 2012. And I listened to mostly 'good' stuff! If I went full-tilt, I'd be a withered olive by now. So it's over. I'm done. Stop releasing bad music indiesphere. Stop releasing bad demos hardcoresphere.

Only two records worth mentioning from January 2012: the new Cloud Nothings and the new GBV. With these, at least, it seems like something's at stake.

And now, because I seldom use this blog as a vehicle for shay-talking, my 2 worst albums of the year.

Lana Del Rey - Born to Die
Craig Finn - Clear Heart Full Eyes

I began writing my reasons, but there are just so many, and the internet's full of bad vibes, so here's the summary. LDR: you hate your audience. You're a corporate monkey. Craig Finn: get off autopilot. You should know better.

See you all in 2013.

The five best rides at Walt Disney World

When the print division of my Cat Plaza media empire folded, I decided to continue the Cat Plaza journalism tradition as best as possible online. This December, I spent seven days at WDW in Orlando, Florida. While there, as usual, I became interested in the history, politics, and operations of Walt Disney World, which, in my opinion, is the North American tourist destination. I would have included this article in the next zine, but instead, it is presented here for your study and comment.

I will examine each of the five rides through a particular lens. These lenses can be used on really anything in the World. Click through for the list.

James Michener

I finished Chesapeake. Took months but I finally finished it. You see, reading a James Michener novel cover-to-cover is a challenge. Check this picture; dude knew how to research, and it all came out on paper. According to Wiki, he wrote 12-15 hours a day and kept a 'filing system' which had trouble 'keeping up.' Brings to mind a filing robot with telescopic arms overheating during the penning of Mexico.

A Michener novel is the perfect antidote to internet addiction, I swear. All books are, really, but Michener's are particularly good for it. His bricks inhabit your life---your nightstand, bookbag---remind you to put down the laptop and step into another world. That's how it felt for me anyway; ashamed about refreshing facebook and twitter for the third time that hour, I'd retire and knock out a chapter.

For books that are intrinsically concerned with time, Michener's books feel timeless. They put the present on pause, transport you back (corny, I know, bear with me), and allow you to unplug from your hyper-connected life, allow you to care deeply about Hugo Pflaum's quest to confiscate the Turlock's long gun called the Twombly, a gun which annihilates hundreds of ducks/ geese with each shot. Allow you to feel sad when Pentaquod dies, his tribe decimated, the future of Indians in serious trouble. Allow you to bear witness to the lives of Quakers, Catholics, Protestants, slaves, John Calhoun, arsters, and flocks of geese.

Common criticism: underdeveloped characters, formulaic writing, endlessly detailed passages. Readers with these problems have a right to them, but they miss the point. Michener needs to examine the spirit of a place. Always, that is the purpose. I'm now imbued with the spirit of Chesapeake bay; I hunger for schooners, for that a succulent goose in my rotund Winter belly. More importantly, perhaps, I'm hungry to go somewhere else. On my shelf: Texas, Caribbean, The Covenant, and Alaska. Not right now, necessarily, but when I'm editing a tweet for characters or memorizing the tracklist for an inconsequential album, I'll get fed up and return to that beautiful man's world.

PS - People have taken to writing Twitter novels. Only wish Michener could comment. There is no way, not now and not ever, that these can be successful. Give me a fucking break. Half-assed song lyric micro-meta garbage.

The year in review: books

I read 52 books this year, which, if you account for the varying lengths and difficulties, is still a lot of reading. Proud of myself. Also aware that it's my job to read. In 2012, I pledge to read more and to be less tempted by the internet and its surface pleasures. Let's do it together!

On with the show! I've considered my grand list, and here are ten top-tier books from 2011. 

David Foster Wallace - Oblivion
Tom Grimes - Mentor

EL Doctorow - Ragtime
Eric Larson - The Devil in the White City
Judy Budnitz - Nice Big American Baby

Randy Shilts - And the Band Played On

JG Ballard - High Rise

Chad Harbach - The Art of Fielding

Dave Zirin - Welcome to the Terrordome

James Michener - Chesapeake

The work of Judy Budnitz endeared itself to me more than the work of any other author in 2011. I came to her like I come to many authors: via a Google search and scouring lists. K and I read Nice Big American Baby on our way home from Canada. Cautionary/ celebratory stories of motherhood, pregnancy, and love in America. Just totally bizarre, hilarious, and deeply sad stories. Flawless collection, the best book I read in 2011. 

Her first collection Flying Leap starts strong and ends poorly---worth a read for completists. In her novel, If I Told You Once, Judy systematically sheds male characters until there are only women left, four generations crammed into a tiny apartment. 

I lament my male-dominated list. Perhaps in 2012, I too will shed men. Nine women to one man. It could happen. Or perhaps, like the characters in If I Told You Once, I'll revert to the old ways, and 2012's list will be the same, except with 9 new guys. What I'm saying is, keep me honest blogspot. Diverse reading habits! What I'm saying is, Nice Big American Baby came out in 2005, and it's about time for some new Budnitz, don't cha think? 

A man can dream in 2011. Tonight, with Biggs Stache (and whatever Marc digs out the cellar) on the cerebellum, I'll dream of a new Judy Budnitz novel, and of all the books I'll read in 2012. If the world ends, my blog will live on in the ether. If the world ends, I will blast our greatest texts into space for our extraterrestrial pals. If the world ends, I'll blog in the afterlife.   

Songs from 2011 - Part 10 - Spidey's Curse

A little research reveals that Mark Ronson produced the new Black Lips record, and a little more research reveals this fella manned the boards on records by powerhouses Nas and Wale, as well as on a record by someone named Adele, whose Limp Bizkit cover, "Keep Rollin' Rollin' Rollin' in the Deep," wowed critics this year.

Not surprised Arabia Mountain sounds so good anymore. Psychedelic punk with nods to the 60s. I hear King Khan and the Shrines too.

I only wish the songs were better. Some are good and many are so-so, but "Spidey's Curse" is a stunner. The vocal melody takes surprising turns, and it turns me on. I also vibe on that lead guitar line. Bonus points for the dumb lyrics.

Christmas Vacation

Fuckmas Eve!