Napster was great. After dialing-up, it would take 45-60 minutes to download one song, and when it was done, I'd get so pumped and play that song to death. So many searches for punk covers and prank calls. Anyway, when we switched computers, I either lost my Napster songs or never bothered looking for them, and all of those jams faded in my memory. But no longer!
Must have been 7th grade when the CKY "Chinese Freestyle" came into my life. It was offensive and crude and I loved it. Memorized it. Recited it amongst friends. And I didn't even know what CKY was. Napster (and Limewire and Kazaa) had bad tagging standards. The bands weren't right or song titles were off, and it's made harvesting my memory for these junior high songs a nightmare. Sometime in college, I remembered a couple of key lines and performed a Google search. Voila! "The Chinese Freestlyle" was back in my life. Way back then, though, "The Chinese Freestyle" was a mythical song that came from this new abyss called the internet, and it was so mysterious and cool. Now I know that Brandon Dicamillo was responsible, and it's a little disappointing, but he's also one of my favorite Jackasses, and I better be able to get someone to come with me to see him in 3D.
Favorite part used to be: everybody in the phone book named Cheng, wanna see my wang? but now it's: you wanna taste my General Tso? I will give it to you now. One of the funnier disses I've heard.